Tag Archive: God


Finding Myself.

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Lately I’ve been going through it.

I feel like I’m in a turning tire that just won’t stop.

I’ll call it: Mad Fire Tire!

I tried letting out my anger in:

Dancing. Giving it my all when at the end they tell me that’s not it… I don’t get it! BUT THEY USE MY STEPS FOR A SHOW!! WTF!?

Writing. Writing these crazy stories. I really have bury those papers before my mother think I’m crazy. O_o

Art. All these dark contrast burning buildings, crying people, depress mother. —> MY MIND IS VERY DISTURBING!!!

Music. I ALMOST BROKE MY PIANO! Dammit!

After all of this …

   I need to find myself..

                    I need my bible and a cup of WATER!

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

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My Mom came in my room this morning and sit on my bed waking me up asking do I wanna go to school? Like ALL teenagers I said NO. But I had my reasons. Like any other mother with a heart she knew why and I didnt even have to explain why.

Getting off the bed she walked out my room coming back 5 minutes laters with GROSS medicine and a HUGE cup of Hot Chocolate! :)   She walked out saying “Feel better and I’ll call you every 2 hours. I love you”

Sigh. All I needed was a Mother’s Touch.

Massive Heart Beat.


Play Video!

Run, dont look back.
Hide, dont come out.
Be still, dont move.

Speak gentle.
Think wisely.
Whisper quietly.

Love carefully without the pain.
Walk with God.
Stay true to yourself.

Do all those things with a Massive heart beat. [__<3__]

-Valencia.

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Me and my Facebook Acquaintance was comparing each others Zodiac Signs. He was a Taurus and I’m a Virgo. He decides to post this I don’t know, this description of Virgo Women thing and it tells you what we virgo women are like take a peep:

VIRGO FEMALE

You have some superficial standards about the man in your life. You insist that your partner be squeaky clean and practical and goal oriented. Your standards are set quite high and therefore it usually takes you longer to find someone that you feel is worthy to commit to. You do tend to marry late in life and only if the right knight in shining armor comes along. You are an excellent housekeeper, a strict parent and a good companion. You are attractive well into your middle years and often attract more men as you age

Cute right? Lol

Now knowing that this is somewhat true aha, I give him a little piece of my “Woman Mind” my response:

1. Yes, I do set High Standards for myself in certain situations. With a Man for example (like it is post upon there) yes I do want what’s best for me in my future. I need guy who is willing to be a “Man” and willing to do is his part well.

2. I seriously laughed at “excellent housekeeper” because I totally think they should’ve worded that in a different way. But I would say, I keep my house clean before anyone steps through that front door. I tend to be sometimes lazy. Nobody’s perfect. I will a career, I’m not gonna sit at home while my husband go get his paper (money) and to come home to tell me I do nothing but sit at home all day while he pay the bills in my book it doesn’t work like that honey. I most defineitly will have a life & YES I’m good a companion.

3. Virgo tend to look very young. :) kudos for us. While all the others signs look old in their 40′s we’ll be looking fly and should be able to hit the club once in a while. :) lol.

4. Now, the married part. . . Hmmm. I have nothing to say but unless its the right man to be waiting for then yes I might as while get my career up on point first before any man walts into my life.

Spoken like a lady? Lol. Yes I know. But that really not true. I feel that ALL WOMEN they can be black, white, asian, purple, green, yellow whatever. Any women can sit those standards. Not just me. All these young girls I see can set those standards. Just make GOD is included. Because he’s the one that helped you make them. He knows how you gonna make them, when your gonna make them, and who will try to knock them.

I’ve had a couple of guys and eveb grown men step to me with that non-sense game of theirs trying to pull me in. But it never works. And for man or boy to do that to me everytime I turn around, I might as well live in a house by myslef with 18 cats and yelling at people saying “get off my grass”

A women can be a housekeeper, a pleasure toy, in home wife, and junkie to men now. But that’s only if they let them be.

But down inside, we’re STRONG, INDEPENDENT, GOD’S GIFT, VALUEABLE, RUBIES, QUEENS, HIGH, AND SMART. That’s what I am and that’s what I hope to be to my future husband.

It makes me sad to see how she gives up her crown and forgets that she is a queen.

That she likes to be loud and seen.

She turns in her real hair for that fake hair.

It hurts me that she doesn’t care.

She has been told that she is  not a diamond, but glass.

How she is proud and glad to show her breast and ass.

It hurts me that she smile in pride to be called a “bitch” or “ho”.

Oh how it maltreats my soul.

 She submit her body as a mans toy.

While he whisper in her ear she’s his “Pride and Joy”.

I cry because of the sight that I have seen.

It makes me sad to see how she gives up her crown and forgets that she is a queen.

    -Valencia Monroe.

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I’ve been through the death stage. I’ve went through hell and back. I felt lonely. I’ve been in the dark, but yet still had the Lords light. I’ve seen and heard cries. I felt my angels pick me up and put in reality. {Thanks guys, but please don’t do that again. Okay?} I witness thousands of crimes. But I’m still taking this journey step-by-step.

You can say, my journey looks like crap right? I wanna say that too. But its not that it looks like crap, the point is it is “crap!” I’m thankful it’s that way.

Now, what I can say is that, God is doing this for a reason and having a good time too. But I’m not. I’m gonna say he’s giving me a test to see where would I go; would I turn to him or turn to the other side of my journey. And, sadly to say I been going to the other side! :( I don’t like that side. I lost track of my journey. This is what happening right now, yes right now:

I see the lords hand at the end of all my troubles, he’s there with comfort, peace, lots of love, and nothing but smiles. I look down that road and I like what I  see. So I take off running, like pastor Scott says “moving forward.” As I’m running I made a mistake, I looked back. Now I’m a track star, they have always told me to never look back while on the track field, it’ll slow you down. As I looked back I seen satan, all of my troubles, and his crew. I started to slow down. They caught up to me and grabbed me by the leg and I fell to the ground. Now I have bruises all over me, I’m trapped by the devils vines, that arose from the the ground. I been down there what seem like days, but its only been a second.

Not looking back, to see what’s going on. I looked up and seen the lords open hands still. Something whispered in my ear and it said “I know that I have not yet reached that goal, but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead, I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above.”- Philippians 3:13-14. After I heard that, I don’t know what had happen, I gathered the strength and broke threw satans trap and put everything behind, and ran down the road but which really felt like I flew to Gods loving hands.

I’m thankful to be with the Lord our savior in Christ. I’m thankful to go down that rough journey. I’m thankful to be a witness of christ and it’s all time healing. :) I’m very thankful. With all that said, this is my journey and I’m taking it step-by-step, even when the bad times come I won’t solve it myself, I’ll leave with God. All I have to do is step out of his way and let him do his thuggtizzle. Lol. Just kidding. I’ll let him do his thing. :) love you guuyys!

I have been in need of a prayer for a very long time. I have lost connection with myself and my close loved ones. I have been given no mercy since last month. To be completely honest things haven’t been adding up at home. I want things to change. But first I need to reconnect with myself and the lord.

In my solitude, in which you should all know is my privacy. All I need is a Bible, turning to Psalms 23 and book of Proverb.

For now I just need this prayer for the up coming week:

As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Micah 7:7-8

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Hurt Love

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As sweet as cotton candy
Everything was fine and dandy.
As cold as ice
We had a huge fight.
All those tears I shed.
All those lies you said.

How could this be?
You said you loved me.
You said we would love forever.
Was that a lie too?

I must obey your Rules.
The blood from my split lips goes down like drool.

You tell me to love you better.
But how?
You took all my happiness.
With your words and your fist.

I pray that I’ll see—see the light
I pray I’ll see white doves rise above.
……cause this IS HURT love.

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In life you only get one childhood, teen, and adulthood life. Why mess it up? In each of those category you make at least three mistakes.

Example Tim is 9 years of age, he love to help the elderly people. But one day he seen a old lady trying to cross the street. He really wanted to help her, but his mother wouldn’t allow it.

Tonya is 15, she loves to run track. Her whole family are track stars, but there’s something she need to tell her family what is keeping her back from running.

Jamie is 28 years of age. Just got her M.A and B.A. degree, soon to get married one day and become Miss. Gillian. But she has a deep secret she has to tell her fiancé but don’t know the right time or place.

Now I know your thinking: Why couldn’t little Tim walk the elderly lady across the street? Why can’t Tonya run track like her family? Or What is it that Jamie holding in from her soon to be husband? I’ll tell you.

Tim is in a wheel chair. He been in a wheel chair for sometime now. He and friend was playing out in a backyard and found a gun. The friend thought it would be cool to play with it. Tim got shot in both knees and lost feeling from the waist down.

Tonya can’t run track cause she had sex at a party and got pregnant. She finally told her parents, her parents were upset but things happen, there’s nothing they could do.

Jamie was raped at the age of 16, she was diagnosis with HIV positive. Two weeks before her wedding, she sat down with her fiancé told him everything. He was Okay with it. He was by her side on their wedding day. Of course they didn’t have sex on their honeymoon, I know that’s not the only thing you do on that day.

Each of them have 3 things in common.
1. God
2. Support
3. Mistakes

Reason I said God:
-God was on their side each step of the way. He gave them comfort, strength, and trust.

Mistakes are okay. We all make them, without mistakes I know I wouldn’t be the most strongest person I am today. And also I learn from it. You can too.

However, if you have a secret and your hiding it from your lover or your family, tell them. If their God’s children they will not judge you. Life will throw you a curve but sometimes you have to learn how to turn with it.

Me and my buddy Jasmine went for a walk right after church, I couldn’t help it the sun shining truly bright today’s afternoon! :)

As we walked up Michigan Ave. and 19th street. The sun was shining thru the trees. Jasmine was noticing ever little thing and it was very cute for her to notice and shout “those leaves looks like hands!” –they actually did! :)

I couldn’t help but notice the little things too! I noticed all the beautiful bright color roses! :)

Its amazing what sunshine could bring you: joy, happiness, your inner kid, grace, and spirit! I had a Great Sunday! Hopefully you did too! Love ya! :)
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